Puck Headlines: Inside Russian rumor mill; Oilers hire Quinn

Here are your Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• The next great Puck Daddy contest begins on Wednesday in anticipation of the Stanley Cup finals. Three words: Get. The. Glue.

BREAKING NEWS: Pat Quinn, Tom Renney ready to team up and coach the Edmonton Oilers; TSN confirms that Quinn has been hired as head coach, Renney as his trusty sidekick. [H/T Cult of Hockey]

• If you have it, you may want to play Nikolai Volkov's version of the Russian national anthem in honor of our first few headlines. And because he has an absolutely angelic voice. First up: The Washington Post reports that Sergei Fedorov does in fact have an offer from the KHL, and is waiting to see if the Washington Capitals will ante up with a suitable counteroffer. If this somehow ends with Michael Nylander's salary counting against Metallurg's cap, we're getting George McPhee to do our taxes next year. [Capitals Insider]

• If this is indeed the end for Sergei's NHL career, looking back at his commercial legacy with a tear in the 'ole peeper. [FanHouse]

• Agent Allan Walsh Tweets that Viktor Kozlov of the Capitals has "signed a 2 year deal with Salavat Yulaev (UFA) in the KHL." Technology ... moving ... too ... fast. [Twitter]

• Mirtle threw on his trench coat for a clandestine meeting with Russian spies, digging up a few tidbits of note: "Alexei Kovalev has been offered a one-year, $6-million by the Canadiens and could be the team's captain next season"; and "Rangers forward Nik Zherdev, a restricted free agent, has turned down an offer from KHL club Salavat Yulayev Ufa and wants to play in New York next season." [From The Rink]

• Scott Niedermayer's timetable for a decision appears to target the week of June 14 for a meeting with the Anaheim Ducks. Meanwhile, Vancouver is all giddy about gossip that Neidermayer could end up playing for the Vancouver Canucks. What the hell is Scotty Nieds thinking? Doesn't he know how terrible Luongo is after one bad night against the Blackhawks? [Nucks Misconduct]

• Writer Don Brennan, who once advocated that players intentionally slash the injured ankle of Sidney Crosby, now says he's rooting against the Pittsburgh Penguins because Crosby's "game lacks pizzazz" and "I'm tired of watching him." [Ottawa Sun]

• In defense of Brian Campbell. Hey, there's probably as close to "defense" as "Brian Campbell" has ever gotten. [Second City Hockey]

• Sad News: Peter Zezel, former center for the Toronto Maple Leafs, St. Louis Blues and several other teams, is clinging to life because of a serious blood disorder. He's only 44. [Toronto Sun]

• Pierre LeBrun of ESPN took a rickshaw back to the hotel from the United Center, and was ridiculed by his Hockey Night in Canada peers as they drove by in a limo. D'oh! [ESPN]

• Congrats to Jim Balsillie, who finally got around to formally applying to the NHL for ownership of the Phoenix Coyotes weeks after he claimed they wouldn't allow him to own them. Despite, you know, never asking. [CBC Sports]

• The NHL and the Phoenix Coyotes reach an agreement on which party is "running" the team, but Toronto Sports Media Watch believes Bettman and Co. are using stall tactics to make it impossible for the team to move next season. [TSMW]

• The offseason plan for the San Jose Sharks. And yet not a single mention of "locate gonads, ensure they still function properly." [Battle of California]

• Do the Detroit Red Wings qualify as a dynasty if they win another Stanley Cup? [Morning Sun]

• Is Vladislav Tretiak's advice to Bobby Clarke the source of 33 years of frustration for the Philadelphia Flyers? [Puck Update]

• Is Edmonton Oilers junior prospect Alex Plante the next Rob Blake? [Copper & Blue]

• Is Darryl Sutter the only logical choice for the next Calgary Flames head coach? [Sun Media]

• Headline: "Flame still burns bright for Loob." And here we thought Loob took care of the burning. [Faceoff]

• It's the Hershey Bears against the Manitoba Moose for the Calder Cup! Can a bear beat a moose in a fight ... hmmm ... and could a ninja defeat them both? [AHL]

• This is a killer column comparing the ownerships of the Chicago Blackhawks to that of the Detroit Lions, and this section is perfection: "There is nothing quite like the failure of a sports owner in American society. You can't impeach them or vote them out of office. You can stop buying tickets, but if you're a die-hard fan, it is hard to stop caring. You just have to watch, get angry, convince yourself things will change, watch, get angry again ... on and on, until the owner either sells the team or dies." [Freep]

• Not sure what the audience is for 10,000 words on Doug Jarvis's stick, but there you go, Montreal. [Gazette]

• Sorta Hockey, More About Journalism: Paul LaTour is a newspaper writer who was laid off, and is now blogging about unemployed life. Check out his Bob Probert tale, and please do give the rest of it a read. Interesting, though depressing, stuff. [LaTour]

• Sorta Hockey, More About Journalism Part Deux: Congrats to our friend Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post on picking up a side gig with The Sporting Blog. [TSB]

• NY GOP head doesn't like getting heckled by New York Islanders fans. [Islanders Independent]

• "Saying you're optimistic about hockey in Topeka can be like saying you think the next Rob Schneider movie could be really good." [CJOnline]

• A ton of questions about the Boston Bruins, including whether they should trade Phil Kessel in the offseason. [Haggs]

• Beer prices from around Canada. Adjust accordingly. [CTV]

• The economy sucks and Kuklas Korner is a hockey blogging institution. We here at Puck Daddy endorse the idea of helping a brother out. So please do. [KK]

• Finally, Pat Kelly teaches you how hockey works. Ah, Canadian wit. Pat's solid, but we'd pay to see this in theaters if Tom Green remade it.